Introduction

As part of the Masters course of the University of Verona on Specific Learning Disabilities (SLD)[1], a survey was conducted on a sample of 894 students from schools of the Verona province in order to identify those who had special educational needs due to learning disorders and/or disabilities and/or academic difficulties (the number identified is 90) and, among these, the percentage of separated or divorced families. Although within the limit of the sampling done, the measured value corresponds to approximately 28.8%. Knowing that this figure is an extremely relative value, it is however a good starting point for dealing with the topic of this paper.
According to the data collected by the Italian Statistics Institute[2] in 2011, in Italy, there were 88,797 separations and 53,806 divorces (the figure was substantially stable compared to the previous year). The phenomena of separations and divorces is continuously on the increase. In 1995 for every 1,000 marriages, there were 158 separations and 80 divorces; in 2011 there were 311 separations and 182 divorces. With reference to the subject of this paper, it is reported that 72% of separations and 62.7% of divorces involved couples with children. This means that the vast majority of families facing separation or divorce are made up of couples with children, mostly minors and students, among which there are certainly pupils with SLD (according to our mini survey).

What are the problems faced by families that have children with SLD?

The first part of this paper will be dedicated to the exploration of problems faced by families who have a son/daughter with SLD. Research shows that when a son/daughter has learning problems, the entire family is generally in crisis and the resilience of the family system is put to the test, especially because the learning disorder is usually expressed as an unexpected event with a considerable impact on the family's stability and life [3]. The family crisis can occur due to various factors, in particular, owing to the complex issues that a son/daughter with SLD may have. Some of these are particularly difficult to manage for the parents and, in general, for the adults who are responsible for the education of those with a SLD. This refers mainly to learned helplessness, anxiety problems, attention problems and/or hyperactivity, which are, on an average, more frequently present in subjects with reading difficulties and disorders than in the general population [4]. In most cases, says Brooks, children with learning disabilities develop feelings of low self-esteem, lack of competence and pessimism about their future life, which in most cases, leads to an attitude of renunciation in the face of difficulties, avoidance of tasks, propensity to blame others and to turn into bullies or clown in class[5]. Academic and social stress that the child with SLD experiences in relationships with peers, teachers and family, are sometimes the cause of feelings of alienation that can lead the dyslexic child to often become restless, unsociable, aggressive, "difficult"[6].

What is particularly difficult for parents of children with SLD and can be particularly challenging in a problematic family context is the care and management of emotional processes. This is why there is high risk of subjects with learning disabilities developing a certain emotional fragility during adolescence[7]. The presence of stable, safe affective references beside them is essential to avoid risk of their developing low confidence in their ability and lack of their sense of self efficacy, usually caused by the natural tendency to develop attributive styles impractical to learning[8]. In such a complex situation it becomes difficult for the family to avoid setbacks which are stronger when the internal settings are more fragile. The first symptom of the crisis can express itself in the form of closure to the outside, in an extreme attempt to focus all resources internally. However, unfortunately, instead of making the task easier, closure makes the course of acceptance and processing of his/her difficulties more complicated and difficult for the son/daughter with SLD: "Anxieties, demoralization and inappropriate defence mechanisms increase, actually worsening the child's quality of present life and the future"[9]. Moreover, instead of increasing the sense of self-efficacy of the parents, the closure adds to the anxiety which, if not contained, may cause a certain coldness or reluctance towards intervention and treatment programs in the parental couple[10].